Difficult conversations at work can be uncomfortable, awkward and bitter, for both the manager and the employee. However, they are a necessity in the workplace and are bound to happen. These conversations might be difficult, but they must take place to resolve issues.
What Are Difficult Conversations at Work?
A difficult conversation in the workplace is one which is dreaded and usually involves discussing sensitive topics that may lead to disagreements.
These conversations can often be challenging for managers as it can take them out of their comfort zone when confronting an employee. The employee may feel offended by the comments that their manager makes, which could cause further conflict and also possibly strain the relationship between the manager and employee.
A manager may need to have a conversation with an employee to address poor performance or behaviour, provide critical feedback, investigate reports of bullying, tackle unacceptable behaviour, give bad news and more.
Reasons Managers Avoid Difficult Conversations
Fear of Conflict
Managers may avoid difficult conversations due to the fear of conflict between themselves and the employee. They could be nervous about how the employee will react, as they may have strong feelings and opinions on the topic of the conversation. This leads to disagreements, making both parties uncomfortable in the workplace and could perhaps cause a further dispute.
Concern About Reactions
A manager may also worry about their employees’ emotional reaction to the topic of the conversation. An employee may feel hurt by the comments that are made, which bring the manager feelings of guilt. Due to this, a manager may avoid having the conversation altogether as they don’t want to upset their employee.
Lack of Confidence
Some managers lack confidence and skills when having a difficult conversation. They may need to step outside of their comfort zone, which can cause them stress. This leads them to become more hesitant about bringing the topic up to their employee.
Unclear Outcomes
Not knowing the outcome of a difficult conversation can cause worry and anxiety for a manager. They may be uncertain about how their employee will react, if it will go as planned, or how it will affect the atmosphere in the workplace after the conversation has been had. This can result in the manager avoiding the conversation, so they don’t have to deal with the possible outcomes.
The Importance of Addressing Difficult Conversations
Avoiding difficult conversations causes many negative impacts for the workplace. One of these impacts is on team dynamics. If problems don’t get solved through difficult conversations, employee performance and behaviour could worsen, employee attendance may decrease, conflicts might spark up and relationships may become strained.
Addressing issues head-on brings many long-term benefits. It is a great way to ensure a positive company culture, a productive workforce, and a healthy working environment. Overall, solving problems helps reduce the possibility of disputes and the chance of a negative workplace environment.
Preparing for Difficult Conversations at Work
Understanding the Issue
Once an issue has been identified, a manager must investigate it in great detail to thoroughly understand and discover the root cause of the issue, who is involved, the consequences, and more. They should then brainstorm possible solutions and plan out how they can be implemented. From the information gathered, a manager should then make plans on what to say to those who are involved, which is most likely to be through a difficult conversation.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Having the conversation in an appropriate setting can make the biggest difference. An appropriate room setup may include more relaxed seating arrangements, natural lighting, as well as keeping the door ajar to create a less intimidating atmosphere. There are many other ways you can create an appropriate setting, but these are some of our top tips.
Read my previous blog, ‘The Importance of Office Setup for 1:1 Meetings (And Why You Should Care)’, to find out more.
Planning Your Approach
Before a manager goes ahead with a difficult conversation, they must plan and structure it in a way to ensure that issues and solutions are communicated effectively. This will lower the chance of hurt employees and additional disputes.
The best way to plan a difficult conversation is to reflect on the employees characteristics as this can help a manager to adopt the right approach when presenting the conversation to an employee. A manager should also look at the facts before having the conversation to separate the truth from opinions, as well as considering the employee’s perspective to create a more open conversation.
Practicing Empathy and Active Listening
Empathy and active listening should always be involved during difficult conversations.
Being empathic is important as it makes the employee feel valued and heard, even when the topic of the conversation is tough for them. Although a manager should aim to be empathetic, they should also stay confident. This prevents the conversation from becoming too personal, and helps it stay to the point.
Active listening is also important because it ensures employees share their facts and thoughts with their manager. This is useful as the manager can then listen to what they have to say, which may help them with possible solutions. A manager should also listen to the questions or ideas that the employee may have, based around the issue or solutions, when reflecting on the conversation.
How to Handle Difficult Conversations at Work
Opening the Conversation
It is crucial to start a difficult conversation on the right note. Firstly, a manager must make sure that they stay focused on the topic of the conversation and don’t procrastinate. This is because it makes them seem confident and professional. The employee should also not be made to feel anxious from waiting for their manager to get to the point.
Staying Calm and Composed
During a difficult conversation, a manager should ensure that they speak in a calm and collected manner. This then encourages the employee to share their own thoughts and feelings, as well as makes sure of composure and professionalism within the conversation.
Focusing on Solutions
One of the main reasons to have a difficult conversation is to resolve issues, and to do this there must be solutions. A manager should brainstorm solutions, but should also give their employee the opportunity to come up with their own. This allows them to feel heard, maintains employee employer relationships, and also brings as many ideas of solutions as possible. Both parties should then agree on the solution as it provides a higher chance of it being successful.
Following Up
After the conversation has taken place, a manager should thank the employee for having the conversation with them and then discuss the next steps. A manager must also regularly check in with their employee to keep them informed and sustain a positive relationship.
There are many reasons that managers may avoid a difficult conversation, from fear of conflict to unclear outcomes. However, it is important to address issues within the workplace, with the correct preparation, through difficult conversations. If issues are left unsolved, they will continue to occur. It is crucial to handle these conversations, by using the strategies shared, to ensure effective communication and prevent upset employees.
Want to learn more about improving workplace communication? Don’t hesitate to contact One Degree.
